Are You Really 'Online'? 5 Signals That Reveal Your Digital Loneliness

I used to think scrolling was productivity—until I noticed my own reflection in the glow of a midnight TikTok feed. Five likes. Three comments. A DM that never replies. The algorithm didn’t care if you were there; it only cared if you performed.

The Illusion of Connection

Growing up in a Brooklyn apartment, my Jamaican mother taught me that rituals give meaning—not metrics. My German father coded systems to solve problems, but never solved loneliness. Now, I design platforms that turn silence into spectacle. We confuse views for presence, clicks for closeness.

Signal #1: The Phantom Like

You post something vulnerable—a poem about your mother’s funeral—and get 47 likes from strangers who’ve never met you. The algorithm rewards performance, not pain. It doesn’t know your name; it knows your pattern.

Signal #2: The Silent DM

A private message waits for days. No reply. Just an emoji floating like smoke in an empty thread. You wanted to be seen—but the system optimized for engagement density, not emotional weight.

Signal #3: The Trend Trap

You follow a viral wave—three posts in a row about burnout—and suddenly feel like part of the crowd. But trends are RNG-generated illusions, not truths. Your longing isn’t data; it’s memory.

Signal #4: The Faux Celebration

Festival pop-ups promise ‘free boosts’ and ‘lucky streaks.’ They feel like Diwali lights—bright but hollow. You join to belong—but end up more alone than before.

Signal #5: The Algorithmic Grief

The platform remembers your habits—not your heart.
You’re not a user.
You’re a dataset.
You’re not invisible—you’re ignored by design.

What happens when no one sees you… but everyone scrolls?